The Village Retreat 2022
This year, we had four new mamas and babies join our intimate retreat community. These brave women came from NC, NY and CO to share the stories of their babies, receive support and connect with others like them.
Below you’ll read firsthand stories from each woman who attended and gain insight into their experiences.
Starr/Hollie
"Words cannot begin to describe what this retreat has given me. I came home from the retreat knowing that I have a support system with a very special group of women who understand better than anyone what we have been through. The bond that was created with these ladies is so unique and special. The stories these ladies told about their babies that were taken too soon was so heart wrenching and I will forever hold their names close to my heart. This is what I needed when we lost our Hollie Rae and I’m so thankful that I finally have what I needed all of this time."
Vera/Hayes
"The power of the Village retreat lies in the genuine connection forged with other stillborn mamas. By sharing our stories with one another and speaking the names of our lost babies, we released to each other what we have held so tightly. And we were met with nothing but love and acceptance. The care that was taken in making each of us feel held and supported felt like a homecoming. Thank you to each and every person who played a part in bringing us all together and beginning to help us heal."
Leah/Waylon
"I was so excited for The Village Retreat when this year began. I learned about this Retreat from a friend of mine who attended the following year. I remember telling my husband, “I’m going to do it this year! This is my year to go.” I knew it was going to be quite the distance coming from Colorado, but after days of research, I knew there was nothing else quite like this experience. As it neared, I started to panic. This amazing journey that God, Paige and my family were putting in front of me got real, really quick. How could I leave my daughter? My only living child who sticks to me like glue and who I’ve never been away from for more than an hour. How could I leave my husband alone with the special cares our daughter needs multiple times a day, while he manages his own business? How could I travel across the country by myself? It just seemed so overwhelming and impossible; until I met Vera. Another mom, leaving her family and also traveling quite the distance for this experience. I hadn’t met Vera before this Retreat but without her I don’t think I would have gone. Vera texted me everyday for weeks to ensure my anxieties came down enough to travel to North Carolina, meet her (a stranger), share a car and drive 2 hours to meet more strangers, and talk about the unthinkable pain that we all share. One thing I’ve learned about meeting people in this community, is that it is so unfortunate that we HAVE to meet. But I’m so thankful to have met everyone I have, to support and lean on each other when we need to. Walking into The Retreat house was also nerve racking, until we met Paige and Armin. The most welcoming and warm couple you will ever meet. Paige showed us to our rooms, and the emotion crippled me completely.
She said, “Take your time, this moment is for you, we will be waiting downstairs.” On the bed lay amazing gifts and memorabilia to remember our lost children. The picture of my son Waylon is something I will treasure forever. Seeing him after a long trip was amazing and provided such release. I will never forget how much went into this retreat, not only from Paige and Armin, but from other amazing individuals that have donated to this ministry to help in every way they can. To know there is support out there for stillbirth is so special to have during trauma. The somatic therapy we walked into next was the first moment I met the other moms, talking about jumping in! Luis, our therapist, welcomed us and I remember just breaking down there in that moment, letting all vulnerability come through. I was nervous and I was worried about what to say, that if I left something out I wouldn’t be properly honoring my son. But instead, what came out was the overwhelming love that you could feel in that room even through all the pain. I remember Cassie wrapping her arm around me as I cried and I didn’t even know who she was. I remember the night Starr stayed up late with me after everyone else went to bed because I couldn’t imagine being alone with my own thoughts that night. We talked and drank wine until midnight laughing about stupid things and trying to relax after an emotional day. That is what I wanted from this weekend. I wanted friendship, community and understanding from others that have gone through this trauma. I wanted to know that I wasn’t alone and I wanted the other moms to feel that from me. I wanted to be able to talk about Waylon without completely losing it. I wanted to be able to talk about him, closer to the way I talk about my living daughter. And boy, did I do that. From tears to all the laughs, I am so lucky to have met these moms and heard the stories of their children with ALL the details. Not having to hold back details of the loss of your child to spare others feelings is where the healing begins. I have held back so much and bottled all of that up to spare others and to hide it myself. I was able to finally let it all out to people that really did understand fully and accepted all the responsibility of giving me the shoulder I needed. To have gained healing myself and to be a part of other moms' healing is truly a blessing. After leaving the retreat I felt like I had a fresh start. I knew the pain and trauma I went through wouldn’t go away after a weekend but I did feel relief. I felt free. I felt like after learning the things I did, I could go home a better mom. I could not have done this alone, and I am so thankful for Paige who created this retreat and for all the moms that are brave enough to come year after year. It takes a Village."
Cassie/Emilia
"It was so nice to be around other people who understood the pain of what it's like to to lose a child to stillbirth. I found great comfort in hearing parts of my own story in others, making me feel less alone in my pain. I LOVED the somatic therapy session led by Luis - it helped me click with why I am still having so many symptoms with my grief. I enjoyed being able to connect with my body and begin the process of listening to it. I felt the love that went into the gifts given to me to honor my daughter. I felt so much love in knowing someone took the time to recognize my baby girl as a baby that existed."
THANK YOU so much to every single person who supported us via prayer, financially, through liking/sharing our social media content and telling others about us. We truly feel all of the love sent our way. This year was extra special in that a donor provided a grant specifically to cover travel for anyone who wanted to attend but needed a little help to get there. Because of this kind and generous donation, we were able to bring two mamas that otherwise wouldn't have made it. That gesture is the perfect extension of what The Village of Stillborn Mamas is about.....love.
